the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
