i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
