Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
