that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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