I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
