There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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