i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
