About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize