I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize