it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
