can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Randomize
