So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
