Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Shame - the story of my life.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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