didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
