So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
