There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
