party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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