Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
