apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
