How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
