so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
