You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
