what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
