hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
MIDGETS
????
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
