I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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