For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
