it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
