Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
