Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
