I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
