let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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