those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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