I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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