Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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