There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
