I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You don't make any sense
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