Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
