kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize