i don't plan on having that self control this summer
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
