Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
