Sry I called you an 8
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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