Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My life is pants optional.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
