your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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