how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
