Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
