I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
