I wish they made helmets for livers.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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