We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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