I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I faked an abortion last night.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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