Don't you send me to vm
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
