allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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