this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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