Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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