Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
