the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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