this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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