i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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