True but thats because hes a fetus.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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